Loving and Leaving the Head Scarf

What does “hijab” mean to you? Thought provoking article from Slate magazine. Though wearing hijab is not quite the easy equivalent of getting a haircut or buying a Prius…

Would love to hear readers’ comments and insights…

Loving and Leaving the Head Scarf
What *hijab*’s revolving door says about the religious mobility of American
Muslims.
By Andrea Useem
Posted Monday, May 12, 2008, at 7:03 AM ET

For most teenage girls, rebellion involves a tongue piercing or sneaking out to a beer-soaked party. But Suraya Ali, the daughter of unobservant Muslim immigrants from India, shocked her parents and her classmates by donning a Muslim head scarf. “It was my way of flipping the world off, saying, ‘I can be what I want,’ ” says Ali, now 31, who grew up in a Chicago suburb.

But a decade and a half later, Ali had a “strange feeling” of no longer fitting in with her Muslim community; she was constantly set up with potential suitors who assumed her scarf symbolized a certain submissive attitude toward marriage; and her elite education had prompted her to question the traditional roles for men and women laid out in classical Islamic law. “I realized [wearing *hijab*] is not who I am anymore.”

Ali’s decision was visible only to those who knew her (and because of her family’s sensitivities, she did not want her real name used). But her experience reveals how very modern American Muslim life can be.* Hijab* in America is not a social norm of ages past, unquestioningly handed down;rather, it has become a tool of self-expression. Just as Americans frequently change jobs, http://www.forbes.com/2007/04/24/employees-turnover-careers-lead-careers-cz_bk_0425turnover.htmlleave marriageshttp://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htmand switch religious affiliationshttp://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/week1126/perspectives.html, American Muslim women choose to love, and sometimes leave, the head scarf.

When Yale anthropologist Carolyn Rouse http://www.princeton.edu/anthropology/faculty/carolyn_rouse studied African-American Muslim women for her 2004 book *Engaged Surrender*, http://www.amazon.com/Engaged-Surrender-African-American-Foundation/dp/0520237951she observed that the *hijab* (and, in some cases, *niqab*, or face-covering) http://www.muhajabah.com/niqab-index.htmwas primarily about group identity. Many female converts, for example, started veiling themselves immediately—the two were
seen as inseparable. Wearing* hijab* “signified belonging to the *ummah*,” or the broader, idealized Muslim community, she said. But this voluntary expression of citizenship doesn’t always last. By the time Rouse wrote her epilogue, several of the women she had followed no longer wore the scarf. One convert, Rouse wrote, “believes she used *hijab* to prove to herself the
depth of her faith. Now that she feels more secure with her faith she does not feel she needs it.”

When I first put on the head scarf eight years ago—starting off with a horrible tan-and-white polyester square I purchased before I realized *hijab * could be stylish —I felt that I was daring to follow my beliefs, come what may. What I believed at that moment, as I pinned the polyester beneath my chin, was that God wanted me to cover,
to simultaneously hide my beauty (such as it was) and proclaim my faith. I had become Muslim two years earlier while living and working in East Africa.

As a journalist and “honorary male,” I had mixed with more Muslim men than women in my travels and therefore gave little thought to *hijab* before converting. It was only when I returned to the United States for graduate school that I begin to notice my fellow *muslimahs*http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Muslimahwearing head scarves. Had I missed something?

A turning point came one day at a cafe (OK, it was Starbucks) in Harvard Square, when a scarf-wearing woman walked in. Some customers gave her uneasy glances, and I felt sharp regret that she had no idea a fellow believer was sitting right there, silently supporting her. After that, I researched classical Islamic law as best I could and concluded that covering everything but your hands, face, and feet was, indeed, “required” for believing Muslim women.

The Quran actually has just two verses dealing specifically with women’s dress. Chapter 33, verse 59 http://quran.al-islam.com/Targama/DispTargam.asp?nType=1&nSeg=0&l=eng&nSora=33&nAya=59&t=eng, tells women to wear outer garments so they’ll be recognized as Muslims and left alone. A longer verse, Chapter 24, verse 31 http://quran.al-islam.com/Targama/DispTargam.asp?nType=1&nSeg=0&l=eng&nSora=24&nAya=31&t=eng, instructs women to guard their modesty, to cover their breasts, and not to display their beauty to males except their brothers, husbands, fathers,
eunuchs, male slaves, etc. To the modern reader, the words can appear maddeningly ambiguous and painfully out of date, and they require not only translation from classical Arabic but a grasp of seventh-century historical context. Both passages are hotly debated. For *hijab *apologists, however, the verses, along with prophetic endorsement and scholarly rulings, prove
that full covering is obligatory. This opinion is mainstream among Muslims in the United States; according to a 2007
studyhttp://pewforum.org/surveys/muslim-american, 51 percent of American Muslim women wear *hijab *all or some of the time.

” ‘*Hijab* is beautiful, *hijab* is what God wants, *hijab* is a Muslim woman’s duty’—that’s become a mantra among Muslim communities,” says Fatemeh Fakhraie, a graduate student, bloggerhttp://muslimahmediawatch.blogspot.com/, and co-founder of the Facebook group “Just Because I Don’t Wear *Hijab*Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Muslim.”

These theological arguments, while important in their own ways, sometimes seem little more than a patina atop more primal social urges, however. Wearing *hijab* or not wearing *hijab*—just like owning a gun or driving a Priushttp://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/07/15/INGHKQVEIM1.DTL—says something fundamental about your beliefs and aspirations. And in America, at least, beliefs have a funny way of changing.

My own fervent attachment to the scarf gradually faded. Two years after first donning it, I was married and no longer needed the scarf to broadcast my unavailability to non-Muslim guys. I had also moved to a Persian Gulf country where *hijab *was not a personal choice but a cultural system of sex segregation: On the beaches there, men in shorts played soccer and swam,
while women in layers of black polyester dipped their toes in the water and shook sand from their shoes.

Like spouses who know they are headed for divorce but still go through the marital motions, many *hijabis *continue to wear the scarf in public long after its inner meaning has dissipated. They wait for a natural break in their lives to make the transition. I took it off on my return flight from the Persian Gulf to the United States. Ali removed it after finishing a summer internship. Another woman I know literally moved across the country to make the change, simultaneously leaving the tight-knit Muslim community
she felt was suffocating her and the scarf that pledged her allegiance to it. Saleemah Abdul-Ghafur http://www.livingislamoutloud.com/, author of the 2005 essay collection *Living Islam Out Loud http://www.amazon.com/Living-Islam-Out-Loud-American/dp/0807083836 ,* found that taking off *hijab* was about breaking up with not only her Muslim community but also her childhood assumptions. After she divorced an
abusive husband, Abdul-Ghafur found herself judged and isolated by her fellow Muslims. Feeling burned by community norms that rushed her into marriage with the wrong guy, she questioned the *hijab*. “Taking it off expanded my identity—it was exciting, like a new haircut,” she says.

But if you start pulling at the thread of doubt, how do you keep the whole sweater from unraveling? When religious scholar Karen Armstrong left her convent http://www.amazon.com/Through-Narrow-Gate-Spiritual-Discovery/dp/0312119038in
the late 1960s, she proceeded to leave Catholicism, and today she says http://religion.beloblog.com/archives/2007/11/qa_with_karen_armstrong.htmleven the label of “freelance monotheist” feels restrictive. Ali still prays five times a day, fasts for Ramadan, and remains attracted to a somewhat-traditional religious outlook. “I don’t think Islam is untrue in any way. But I did get very stuck in a way of looking at things that made Islam feel untrue, and I had to separate those things.”

While many American Muslims dwell contentedly within the limits of modern Islamic orthodoxy—miniworlds where *hijab* can be taken for granted—others avoid it or pass through en route to more spacious destinations. *Andrea Useem is a freelance religion writer and editor. Her Web site is www.ReligionWriter.com www.religionwriter.com/.*

Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2191103/

Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC

3 thoughts on “Loving and Leaving the Head Scarf”

  1. Very insightfull article, thank you for sharing this with us Sarah.

    I have the same issues about becoming a Muslim, I have been told several times from different sources, that you HAVE to wear a scarf if you become Muslim.

    Coming from a culture that is very different in terms of garments customs, I could see that as a shock for my family and friends. I am somewhat changing my clothing style, by wearing loose, longer clothes – that I found could be very stylish, yet dignifying.

    I like to wear hijab on several occasions, definitely at the Masjid, and sometimes I use the cold winters as an excuse, although you will notice immediately the looks on people’s faces when you enter a room.

    I have mixed feelings about wearing hijab. On one hand, one should not wear hijab as an obligation, but should be proud and grateful to be a Muslim. On the other hand, I feel bad about caring about society judging you if you wear hijab, but in today’s world, sadly, you are treated differently in the business world or, for example at an auto-shop, if you present yourself wearing hijab.

    I have very deep respect and admiration for women who manage to wear hijab and be a respected business woman, a strong but understanding boss, or a famous teacher or journalist.

    They are the true strong personalities, that manage to differentiate themselves on solely the quality of their minds and personalities. InshaAllah, I wish to be as strong as they are, one day!

    I recently saw a video about the journalist that has been captured in Afganistan and she promised she will read the Quran.
    http://hotdocsaudience.bside.com/2008/films/mymothersdaughter_hotdocs2008;jsessionid=E27BF4BA27C46EE3E9920F8C0AC74960
    She kept her word, and after reading the Quran, she became Muslim. I was really moved about her courage to confront her mother and Scotish culture, with grace but firmly.

    May God give us all the same strength to be the best we can become. Subhan Allah!

  2. If we are Muslims and we have full knowledge about what is required of us by Allah (as outlined in the Qur’an) then how can we choose not to follow it like it’s not a big deal? It’s horrendous how people in our society think that hijab is a political statement that can be played around with. Women wear hijab (or they should) because Allah has commanded it. End of story. And muslims who know what is right and wrong and still choose the wrong path will have to face the consequences. It’s as simple as that.

  3. Wow, are we still not past the point of accepting (with understanding) that hijab is something Allah ordained for believing women? Yikes. Putting on the hijab is a decision we have to make…but believing whether or not the hijab is fard…well Allah has already pronoucned the decision on that one.

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